Posts tagged: men
In Houston visiting family, finally got some well deserved sleep… for the first time in 6 weeks I have finally gotten some good sleep. I slept for 12 hours and it was great. I am up at 3am, I have at least gotten something that has eluded me for some time.
This also means that I have come to terms with the break up from my former fiance. I still love that woman. I am now able to move forward and I am at peace with her rejection of me. Most importantly, I am no longer angry or upset with her for doing what she did. I think that has been a lesson long needed to be learned for me. To not hold onto such painful emotions when you have been let go, rejected, and otherwise unwanted… I have seen such beauty, grace, potential, and tender strength in that woman.. things soo deep inside her that I wanted to see come out and stay out on the surface. Things that I fell soo deeply in love with that I easily looked past her selfishness, insecurity, the want to control her environment, and the minor things that most would find as road blocks in maintaining and building a strong and committed relationship.
The last year and a half I had spent loving her also taught me a lot about myself and ultimately changed me as well. I may hold onto some childish behavior and not have “grown up” like some would prefer, that has enabled me to keep open eyes with the world and to be able to see into the heart and souls of those I come in contact with. I have learned that no matter how much you give, you need to demand to get some back otherwise you will be used and tossed aside when you are no longer of use. Lastly, that it is ok to feel the hurt, the pain, the confusion, the love… yes the love for some one who has moved you so deeply that the world becomes a dark place when they are no longer in your life.
I have changed. I am forever different now… I am more of a man, an artist, a father, a friend, lover, and companion. Who ever this relationship prepared me for will be deserving of the kind of love I felt in this past relationship and I will be deserving of that love in return. I will continue my passion in art and photography, the woman that I am waiting to meet will openly be as passionate and supportive of all of my efforts, not to mention be my cheer leader motivating me when I am not in a mood to create.
So, I thank the woman I loved and the lessons she taught me. I can sleep again and see the sun rise on the horizon… the dawn is coming and it will be glorious and the day sunny, bright, and full of color.
I am still wanting to do this… needing folks who are interested in getting a piece of the travel… I’ve offered price points that are affordable for everyone interested… also… I have made it where if you donate at certain levels, you can decide where I go…
Please share, reblog, and support!!
I created a gofundme account… so… below is the link to donate…
There are some definite perks to giving and the more you give, the better the perk. Please share, please respond, I am also open to locations and everyone getting very vicarious through my travels.
What Sagittarius Hates
so very true… every single bit of it…
Today I am on the edge of a massive breakdown. I have been fighting back a deep loneliness, tears, and depression just to be functional and able to work. It seems like it is almost a losing battle as I try to fight back bawling my eyes out now. As I am typing this on my phone, tears are streaming down my face just so I can see.
I have wanted nothing more than to be held, made to feel my world will be alright, that the gaping hole in my heart can be filled again. I have fought thoughts of utter darkness and have no desire to entertain them… feeling as I do, I understand how and why some people can keep a facade of normalcy and later commit suicide.
Sometimes the most powerful thing anyone can do for another person is show compassion and be there for them, hold their hand or hold them until they stop crying and calm down.
Today I have spent my time surfing the internet, looking for work, looking for a new home… basically pondering starting my life over, again.
It has been interesting to think about. My past relationship has taught me alot… If you love someone soo much you can’t stand to be away from them, how much do you love yourself?? Do you love yourself just as much? Do you respect yourself as much? Are you willing to stand up for what you believe in and who you are?
With thinking about these questions… the answers have been no. I have not loved myself enough, respected my self enough, stood up for myself and my beliefs enough, nor have I stood up for who I am. Going forward, I announce to the world who I am, without shame, without remorse, without fear of rejection.
I am a photographer… I capture life, beauty, insanity, the wondrous colors and shades that fill our emotional cup. I capture everything as it is… naked, raw, pure. I capture people in all stages of covering… fully clothed and naked. I am a veteran, I have been across the world doing my job, coming home warped, scarred, distant in ways my brothers and sisters of arms only know. I am a father, a son, a brother, an uncle, a cousin, a nephew… I have a large family and they mean the world to me. I am who I am and I will not apologize or compromise myself for it. I will love anyone who comes into my life for who they are at that moment and not for who I want them to be. I accept them for their perfections and imperfections, the things I like and dislike, their light and their darkness. To accept someone wholly at that level is what loving them for who they are means. To love someone, to be with someone, there is no compromise.
That is the lesson I have learned. That is the lesson I will take with me each and every day. That is the lesson we all have to learn as compassionate human beings. That is the lesson that can change the world as you see it.
Learn it, Love it, Be it.
Vote and share with your followers, needing to get as many votes as possible!!! Thanks!!!
I’ve been away… got busy…here’s some cool shit for you all to look at… have fun!
a quick wedding shot this past weekend…
So… what do you all think about a man who elects to get a vasectomy??
Please share and reblog.. I’d like to know.